Where Are My Minions?

Okay, so, I got a Domain, right? In case anybody wasn't watching... www.jayemckenna.com is now MINE, ALL MINE!!! (Much evil cackling and rubbing of hands ensues...) And through some amazing feat of technical wizardry, it actually leads to The Swamp. Which is sort of amazing, because The Swamp is normally really hard to find, and not many people stumble across it.

Eventually my tame IT dude is going to go all technical on it and it will be Visually Stunning and there will be confetti and trapezes and dancing penguins. And maybe a few sexy dudes in loincloths, if the entertainment budget stretches that far. (But don't hold your breath...)

But in the meantime, it's just me in this miserable charming, overgrown bug-infested pristine Swamp.

By myself.

Now, I might be pretty new to this whole Being on the Internet Thing, but Dudes, if this is my Domain, where the hell are my Minions? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there supposed to be Minions? Do they just show up? Is there a form? With a check-box thing for making sure I don't get stupid Minions? Because, you know, it's really embarrassing when they try to invade the blog next door, or set fire to wrong windmill...

Hmm. I'd better put in a call to Tech Support. And check the mailbox. I suppose they might have been shipped surface mail. I hope the Minion Warehouse remembered to punch a few air holes in the box...